sometimes i feel that the things my mind makes and creates are all alone. i will never know if they are understood or taken into account. all i really want to take from their presentation is the reassurance that who i am is who i've always thought i was. and by writing/rhyming/reading/seeing/being/drawing etc, maybe i know who i am. maybe i don't. maybe i have all along but this is the wrong approach. i want to improve, i want to put my efforts towards something that i can build. something that i can build up underneath all this, and the result will be supportive. all this energy just stays around my brain like clouds and fog. i can't see past it unless i look up. and as of late, the only times that is possible is when my heart is full and my mind is in a place i cannot be all the time. certain folks contribute to this film behind my eyes in ways positive and negative. however, the negatives i am trying to decline. to recess, refuse, deny, downsize and lose. i find that my mind runs better on positive fuel. these fires inside me are weak without sustainable nourishment. to the kids i love, remain part of my picture. it would be a colorless and bland page without your faces. i need you here to help me face this.
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