ceased and amazed

scheduled hours fly by, leaving little room for life to gear down. the holiday season is fast paced as per usual, and currently kicking my ass. christmas shopping, not even close to being done..  1/8th done, perhaps? a sad story. the obligation to spend ridiculous amounts of money on outrageous amounts of consumer/entertainment goods that in reality lack any sentimental/personalized  meaning. i feel horrible knowing all that i can possibly do to make christmas a little more real, is to make homemade cards. atleast that adds a personal touch, making the obligatory individual, ie mom/dad/etc feel like you actually care about them, let alone know them well enough to make them something they can atleast appreciate.

tiresome.

i blow through my money at such a depressing rate. this is definatley something that needs work and commitment. but alas, another story that is. i feel like a scrooge/grinch this year, but really.. it's just the reality of things. commercial christmas is here, and i'm selling it to every single person that comes to me looking to buy a camera for their son/daughter/mom/granny/uncle/etc and they eat that shit up. HELLO, YOU ARE SPENDING OVER 200 DOLLARS ON YOUR 14 YEAR OLD KID WHO IS JUST GOING TO TAKE PICTURES OF THEMSELVES IN YOUR BATHROOM MIRROR AND PUT THEM ALL OVER THE INTERNET, FYI. and it's probably going to break because their underdeveloped fingers won't be able to send the message to their underdeveloped brain that they're dropping something. just pick up a justin beiber cd and you're all good for the holidays, bitches.

anyways, back on the original topic.
i want to be happy about christmas, i really do. i want to get in the mood, maybe try to enjoy christmas music, see my friends and family, turkey dinner, christmas sweater party, pine scented candles, cookies and shit, christmas lights lining the streets. trust me, i'm down. i take things too literal, too seriously sometimes. and although it comes but once a year, i find the best part of all of this, is the new drink options at starbucks. and i have no problem with that. i'm really going to try this year, to get in the mood and maybe watch home alone or something.

i wish michael jackson had a christmas album.