morning bell

this morning, at 6:30 am, i drove to work.

the sky was black and the moon was white.

the air was so cold my breath was stale and solid.

i liked it.

today, i remembered things i forgot about forever, and although it was something that felt like a dream in my past, it seems that it was real life, and im awake to it now. but that's okay, because i'm happier than ever. thanks in large part to who i've become, thanks in large part to my past. all in all, when you lose you win in the end. and when you win, you could quite possibly lose, but that would just be to even out the odds. and i'm also just fine with that. in all honesty, i'm content with the things i lack, the things i have, and the things that matter and don't. freedom of speech, although it may not always make sense coming from my brain, is the only form of therapy/conclusion.

with little sleep, running on empty i have made it through the majority of the day. an eight hour shift, a dark walk by myself, tea time and down time. for me, today felt like the first day of winter. although, we seem to be well into it. recently, i have made some currentr changes to my day to day, and although those changes aren't drastic, i enjoy them and they make my days feel longer and of difference to the last. a change of song, a change of place and time. setting makes the play. my environment is new with independence, change and strange familiarity. why it's strange? it's been here all along. i just kinda forgot about it. but, if people never put things aside, they would have too much on their minds at all times. of all kinds. and that's just too much to ask of anyone. this morning, looking at the face of the moon, i had never seen it the way i saw it, until earlier. i had never taken the time, within a second to completley study and understand it's face. i've looked at it before, even for longer periods of time, but honestly, i have never really understood. within a second, i got it. and it made my day. this will be a season full of cold cheeks full of hot tea and reading glasses. starting now.

wake from your sleep.
the drying of your tears.
today we escape, we escape.