the new season brings

-a new sickness that seems to become quite routine as it grows colder/darker
-cough medicine and neo-citran/tea
-later days/earlier nights
-holiday spirit
-expenses via christmas gifts and moral obligation
-dangerous roads
-the need for more layers and scarves and gloves

the list goes on.
but i'm not about to let it.
i have other concerns.

such as:

when you are given so many chances within your lifetime to make something better, and you see the hurt around you, when will you decide that it is time to finally buckle down and change for the better? consumed by selfish traits, you'll never see what you've done/become. not until everything you knew is taken from you, in an act of karma and irony, will you finally realize that you cannot disguise the behavior that lead you down this path. and now, you cannot go back. and do i forgive you for what you've done? should i find that love somewhere for you? i find it quite difficult to decide. it's not forgiveness, for you were never truly sorry. it's a pity i feel, and an ache on my heart. something i never had, not even from the start. you were never there for any of us. stop acting like you care. you're only desperate now to clean your act up, only because your only hopes of normality have been taken from you.

and it was your doing.
don't waste my time with your apologies.
save it for the day you've changed.
and let that be what changes my perception of you.
sorry means nothing until something is done.
and until then, i am.